Thursday, December 16, 2010

All I Need Is DOA...

Some says; spare your time together with your partner before resorted having a baby. I was like….. mmmmmm…. Smile. Some says; start a complete family portrait right away because your estrogen has limited life span. I was still….. mmmm.. Smile. Both are equally true depending on how u weigh it. Current condition does infuse part of your decision making in planning a family. Really true. Everyone I loved keep calculating my period calendar after our blissful wedding. Our marriage almost 7 months now. Sometimes they are making me paranoid with question like - Is there any goodnews yet?. Huh. I know I should not. Should overcome it wisely. See the other side of coins. I can see they are together in our adventure. Bubbles of love. They pray hard and provide useful tips in getting pregnant. Even mom started searching in Al-Quran finding suitable Doa for us. As for me, part of me really want to have a biological baby right away. Part of me having dilemmas like can I hold a fragile baby gently. I scared to hold baby and looking him crying really pinch me sometimes. Can I wake up in the middle of the night to lullaby him. Common fears I guess. I remember one time, when Sayang and I were on bed, we did talk about kid matters casually. About raising kids, having our biological kids to kids adoption.  "What if, we are not bless with having our own biological kid, will you consider adoption?", he says. I felt ultimately sad. Deep down my heart, I hesitate to think that far. I realized I need to pray harder and let my Doa been answered. Also switch off the light more often. *Wink*


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